herothief: Bound Obi-Wan (Default)
If you're having trouble connecting to a ton of servers in Discord we can complain about it here lol

OCD Talk

Feb. 9th, 2023 12:59 am
herothief: Dogma (Dogma)
So there's this thing about OCD. If I'm thinking about something that is distressing me, or I have something to worry about, and I forget about it for too long and am relaxed? My brain will remind me out of the blue about it and not let me forget about it. I think I'm hitting a wall with how much of that I can handle. The one therapist I was able to see about this did recommend having a set amount of time to think about whatever I'm hyper-focusing on and then consciously not thinking about it after that. I'm trying to do that tonight, it's never worked before but I gotta start trying again. I can't take this anymore.
herothief: (Gorou)
Finished that omegaverse Cyno/Alhaithem fic! it's just over 3k which is what I was aiming for. Just need someone to beta it now. I'm also pretty sure I spelled Alhaithem's name wrong about 50% of the time. Not even sure I'm spelling it correctly right now... But I definitely need a beta for it, just to help me know what tone it is so I can tag it appropriately.

Haven't made any progress of the Codywan Fae AU for the swbb but with the genshin fic out of the way I should have the motivation and time to get back into it!

I also super need to get back into Shadows from Midnight!! Don't know if I have the energy right now for something so heavy so this is more of a reminder.

And as a side note, I really need to find some better Genshin avatars for this account xD
herothief: Bound Obi-Wan (Default)
I think my fae AU for the sw big bang is going to be titled "I used to be afraid of falling", been saving this title for something for years and this one seems like it should fit well enough! Here's the first 300+ words (and the only words I've written so far!)

Read more... )
herothief: Cody (Cody)
Been thinking about what I'm going to write for next years Star Wars Big Bang and I think I've settled on the fae AU i made this one pic for codywan week. I've been flip flopping on this au literally just bc I like the idea of it as an original story tbh. But will I ever get to it if I get if i decide to go that route? I have a lot of original ideas and still haven't made any of them, so I might as well just go through with this one as a fic!

I'm hoping this fic won't be too difficult to write? Or take too long, or be too long ect. ect. I need something quick. I've been enjoying the short Genshin fic I've been working on and thinking about writing more short fics for Genshin just to get that out of my system. I think I'll go for something with Xiao next? In the cut-scenes for the chasm main quest the geo yaksha looked so much like Zhongli and I'm thinking something something, Xiao has a crush of Zhongli but can't pursue that so he goes to the geo yaksha instead...

Also, I may be getting a part time job after the new year, which I'm worried about affecting my ability to write my big bang fic on time. But I do have hopes that some kind of structure that a job would provide would help me be more productive with my free time?? I remember being more active back when I was in school at least.
herothief: Ace Maul (Ace Maul)
Hey! Decided maybe I should try and update anyone who cares about how my fic writing habits are going right now and to kind of hold myself accountable to keep writing stuff by talking about it.

This is going to have some spoilers for fics I'm writing!

Read more... )

I've also been thinking about 2023's Big Bang and what I want to write for that or if I even have energy for it. I think I might try for the Codywan Fae AU I drew art for for Codywan AU week. Still, the question of if I have energy for it or not will be the deciding factor...

So yeah, that's what I've been up to fic wise. It's not a lot but writing is still really hard for me. I can get maybe a week of progress in, very slow progress at that, like 200 words a day, and then burn out for a month. I still want to be a good (fast) writer so I have to keep practicing!
herothief: Dogma (Dogma)
Finished editing my Big Bang fic for the most part. Sent it back to the beta for better revisions lol. So relived to get that over with, I want to move onto other things!! Listening to the Writing Excuses podcast has been super inspirational and I've been wanting to work on original stuff so bad. There's a NaNo thing in July I think?? Gonna be working towards that I think.

So with that done I can focus on some more pressing issues :/. I re-upped my website's hosting, didn't know my 3 years were up so that was $200 bucks I didn't expect to be spending. Now I have to work on updating my website bc if I just spent that much on it I'm gonna make it more useful than it's been!! Lot of pruning my old stuff from college. It all looks like garbage with shaky lineart anyway. But I also have to make some new pieces I think. Definitely need to show off more character design, I have my Genshin Impact OC that I made and went through a whole process with. Gonna slap his stuff together and maybe make some nice splash art of him to go with it. Also gotta make some more chracter concept work, I have a lot of OCs for stuff, a webcomic, a future video game... lots of stuff I can pull from and get designed out and show off! Just have to... do it now lol.

Also, shipping stuff for storenvy doesn't look simple or intuitive, I'm probably going to have to go crawling back to etsy, god fucking damnit. Hoping to get the store back up by June with a lot of new items at least. Got some pride merch I'm working on!!

I'm hoping to show you a picture under the cut but dreamwidth is being fucky. Also Don't mind my camera, it makes everything look like ass.
Read more... )
herothief: Wizardmon (Wizardmon)
Social Security figured out!!! It was so easy, just said they had my birthdate wrong, showed the guy my ID and birth certificate and he fixed it right away! No idea how they got the 17th from the 13th as 7 and 3 are no where near each other but it's done!! I'm so fucking happy.

It's so weird how one thing going right can make me feel SO SO SO SO much better, it's like all my problems have suddenly vanished lol.

I've been reorganizing my office and bedroom like crazy over the last few days out of stress and it's looking a lot better. I've moved a bunch of stuff I access a lot to closer to me and it's just looks better now.

I've also started doing pretty bullet journaling with some Anishinaabemowin vocabulary. Gotta use my washi tape and stickers for something amirite? Only have one and a half page done but it's a start xD I'll post some pics.... in the future lol.

Still wanting to learn graphic design but now i'm looking at Vtuber animation stuff. Uhg, I don't need this as well!! But I have been thinking about doing art streams? I'll have ot figure out how to get everything set up and stuff but it's something for the future...
herothief: Obi-Wan Whump (Obi-Wan Whump)
My first year filing taxes and of course the IRS doesn't have my birthdate correct so it's rejected. Trying to log into the ssa site won't work because they won't let me verify my identity and they won't tell me what information I'm putting in is wrong but I assume it's my birthdate as well. So I use ID.me to try and verify, go through they're whole process of making an account which then logs me into the ssa site which still! has! me! locked! out! Jesus fucking christ why do I even bother.

The good thing to happen today was that I got my package form Unicorn Eclipse! they're stationary is so cute. They're absolutely #goals for my small business. My only complaint is minor, but they're sticker sheets aren't high quality paper, it's like printer paper which is a shame. So the images aren't as high definition like. But they were cheap and there's quite a few stickers on each so I won't feel bad about using them lol. Also the kiss cut stickers were about the same quality I print out which made me feel a lot better! IDK if anyone notices but when you get something printed from a printing company the dots of ink are pretty much unnoticeable but I've noticed them on stuff I've printed with my personal printer. It's not a big deal, they're still lovely looking but seeing someone else's business have the same quality was reassuring.

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my Etsy store. It's easier to go back to it even with the new fee increase, than learning a new store front but StoreEnvy is looking good?? I'll look more into it when I'm done with tax shit.

Also, trying to teach myself graphic design because I really need steady work and I don't have any other skills than art lmao. I also need to work form home :/ Hopefully I can find something good for free, I'm not good with online classes so paying for one and not really learning from it would suck.
herothief: Wizardmon (Wizardmon)
Great, I have another day of waiting 9 hours for a phone call from an unknown number, this time from my insurance company about the menopause medication. Waiting for phone calls fills me with SO much anxiety, I get to the point where i'm scared to go to the bathroom bc what if they call??? uhg. i don't need this right now

AND my dad might be getting laid off in September. I really don't want to have to move, I like where I live now, I like the apartment, I like my doctors, idk what to do if I have to move during the middle of my series of injections??? hopefully even if he gets laid off we can manage to stay here for 6 months?? maybe?? hopefully??

I've been living with so much stress pent up, I'm gonna be using my journal to vent a lot
herothief: Trans Obi-Wan (Trans Obi-Wan)
 Here are my OCs for my fic Something Broken About This- link should work after the collection goes live tomorrow. Let me know if you have trouble.

Jiorra who is Obi-Wan's mindhealer, she's half human, half Theelin. And then there's Jarik who is Anakin's friend! He's still an initiate so no ugly haircut for him lol
crossposted to Tumblr

OCs
herothief: Bound Obi-Wan (Default)
so i finished my BB fic on sunday? waiting for my beta to go through it one last time before i start uploading it to the collection. I can't WAIT until monday, i hope people like it... or just read it xD, i know it's a super triggery fic but it is like 75% therapy lmao.

I"m also really pleased with the art i made for the event. 7 pieces in total, the last being a pinch hit i'm still working on. AND it's for my beta who is AMAZING, i can't wait to give them some really good art bc they've been INVALUABLE in making my fic readable. oh my god, if anyone likes my fic it's going to 100% be because of Fey making it readable.
herothief: Bound Obi-Wan (Default)
I really, really, REALLY want to draw some Clone Wars stuff but I need friends to talk to about ideas and then show the art to, but none of my friends are into clone wars, SO if anyone is interested in getting a Premium Art Bitch pm me for my discord lol.

Or invite me to a discord server if there is one?? I'm thinking about making my own but I have no one to invite... I saw one server going around but it was for general shitposting and run by some antis and I am not about that life.

SO pm if you are interested in talking about the clones, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan getting dicked down by every single clone, or just general Clone Wars stuff! Please, i drew a 91 page fancomic for another fandom bc my friends kept egging me on, i can do that for you! just give me a chance!